Good night everybody. :) It's december already.
Another year coming to an end.
This month, this holiday, I have decided to go set my teeth back in place to take in more confidence.
My eyes are also recovering while my right side of my face is swollen.
It's all gonna end soon :) This week is going to be busy.
Was staring at the painting just now. The one with the night sky.
Suddenly I could smell my old purple esprit perfume with the mixture of my sunflower roller scent.
It was how I used to smell like in school. Very sweet. Hahah.
I could see you there, and could remember the whole day clearly in my head.
Playing back a old record.
But my memories aren't that good already. I can't remember things without my own thoughts.
Remember how we use to play lan together too.
Hmmm. Just thoughts. :) No extra feeling except more alive.
Every thought about you makes me feel warm and more young. Less serious, and laughing about something cute, not just funny.
My new year resolution for the past two years was to forget you.
My new year resolution three years ago was to be with you forever.
Watching couples together, thinking about the things we've done and not done and will never do.
I'm numb to these thoughts.
This year I have come to realise how much I need God, how much I need him to get back my life.
I've received love and blessings from Daddy God.
I've decided to give up on the kind of art I'm doing.
I used to have difficulties deciding. Because of you.
But now I am willing to give up those satanic thoughts and sadistic art work for daddy god.
I will try my best to avoid. Even if I think about you. :)
Reduce the amount of books I have about Edvard Munch. :|
And just embrace my bible and his love.
I am going take some time to give up alot of things.
But I never regret taking them.
I have even deciding to give up my art career.
I have been thinking about it and realise that all these are nothing because God gave all of that to me.
I know it's hard but I am not going to do this giving up. God is.
Whether is the art I used to do with you, for you, about you, or the thoughts about you.
Even paperbag men. :)
I'm going to give everything to God, and believe that my art will be just for the sake of him, and even prosper in that area he brought me to.
Amen. :)
Good night now, off to bed. Eating lots of medicines lately.
But all for a good cost. Daddy god blessed me with good people around me. :) I will trust him and his ways. Hope you would too boy. Please be happy. :)