I want you to be happy.
I know when I grow up I won't love you like I used to.
I won't know anyone that I would love as much.
I won't meet you again because once we've missed it it just means we are not meant to be.
There won't be an after life. These thoughts become childish as I grow older.
My inner desires.
They have all dispersed with the wind. My love for you, broken in to pieces. Over and over again.
I left them all over the place. I am tired to find them back.
Whenever you come back you put them back for me, and half way you leave, and crushed them with your words.
Your warmth made me afraid of the coldness of I face alone. I bit my lips, till they bleed and endure it all alone.I taste blood, felt the pain, and it all freezed. I never blamed you for your hands. I only blame myself for being so greedy. I now have gotten used to the cold.
Your voice knocking at my door at night. How can I forget your words. Those that lifted me up to what I want to be. And those that knocked me down and gave me another personality. I hear you in the songs, even if there aren't any lyrics. I hear you in my silence. I hear you in my sleep. Hear you in my dreams. Hear you when I shut myself up.
I see you everywhere, like another shadow that follows me. I think that's where you went.
No wonder I can't find you. But yet I've been running from something that has already been part of me.
I fed on those memories for the past two years.
I prayed and cried to God, telling him to snatch you away from my head. He did and then I said no, give him back to me. And I pray again, and said no. And prayed again, and said, just alittle more.
I am just missing you. :) Don't worry wei ting. It's no sin.
But get back up on your feet. This can't continue. And God said my life is supposed to be good.
I'm going insane. A fight in my head.
Should get to bed now. Gonna see the dentist soon, and hope the skin on my eye grows back quickly, Amen :)
I don't need a men. I need more amens.
Goodbye. I have 25 more days to fufil my new year resolution.